We’re
Teaching This:
Every good story has a hero. Think
about it. Superman. Luke Skywalker. Katniss
Everdeen. They aren’t just random characters. They’re larger than life. Maybe
they’re not perfect, but they’re exciting
and they’re brave. And that’s what
keeps us interested. That’s why we cheer for them. Believe it or not, the Bible
is full of heroes like that. They don’t have capes and lightsabers, but they
are heroes who fought giants, built arks, became spies, defeated armies, and
saved the day over and over. One of the most famous ones is named David—or
maybe you know him as King David. Like many others, David’s life was exciting, epic even. And at first glance it can
feel like we have zero in common with him. Even on our most exciting days our
lives don’t exactly feel heroic. But
as we take a closer look at the journey of this shepherd boy turned king, we
see it wasn’t always a royal fairy tale. In fact, as we discover the twists and
turns of his road to the throne, his life begins to look more like ours than we
ever imagined.
Think
About This:
Remember when you were a kid and you couldn’t wait
to grow up? There were probably a lot of reasons, but many of them boiled down
to one idea: When I grown up, I’ll be in
charge. No one can tell me what to do. It was a nice idea, but that’s not
exactly our adult reality, is it? In fact, sometimes it feels like growing up has
left us answering to more people, not less. And what’s worse is when not all of these
authority figures are exactly ideal
for the job. Maybe you’ve experienced…
- The
police officer who is out of line.
- The governor
you totally disagree with.
- The
boss who seems clueless.
- The
homeowners’ association president/tyrant.
- The in-laws who think they’re in charge
Nothing is more frustrating. And in moments like
that it can be tempting to employ our go-to response. Maybe you tend to lash
out, argue, or respond with harsh sarcasm. Or maybe for you it’s more tempting
to ignore them or sneak around their rules. Either way, when it comes to a
clash with authority, there is often more on the line than we realize. Overwhelmingly, research suggests that our
teenagers’ behavior is more influenced by what they see us do than what they hear
us say is best.
In his article, I
Spy Daddy Giving Someone The Finger: Your kids will imitate you.
Use it as a force for good, Dr. Allen Kazdin, former president of the American Psychological
Association, says, “Brain research has
demonstrated that there are special cells called mirror neurons. When we watch
someone do something, our mirror neurons become active in the brain as if we
ourselves were engaging in the same behavior we are observing.” (http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2009/01/i_spy_daddy_giving_someone_the_finger.html)
In other words, when watching our behavior, our
students’ brains react and grow new connections that tell them to do the same.
That’s why, even with the most difficult and undeserving authority figures, it
may still serve us well to treat them with respect. In doing so, our students’
brains will form connections that remind them to do the same.
This week, pay attention to your interactions with
your boss, coworkers, government workers, and even your own parents or in-laws.
Now, imagine what you would say if you overheard your teenager responding to
people in charge the same way you do. Because, if the research is true, there’s
a good chance that one day they will.
Try
This
There will always be people in charge who frustrate us. That’s true for our students as well. In fact, sometimes we are the ones who frustrate them. So, modeling respect for authority is a huge deal. But that doesn’t mean we have to be stoic. This week, try mentioning to your student one situation where you are frustrated by authority and how you’re dealing with it. Say something like…
There will always be people in charge who frustrate us. That’s true for our students as well. In fact, sometimes we are the ones who frustrate them. So, modeling respect for authority is a huge deal. But that doesn’t mean we have to be stoic. This week, try mentioning to your student one situation where you are frustrated by authority and how you’re dealing with it. Say something like…
- Sometimes it’s
hard not to give my boss a piece of my mind. He can be really offensive, but
I won’t let his rude tone force me to act the same way.
- I really
disagree with the politicians who are in charge right now. Some of their
policies make no sense to me. I’ll respect their office, but I’ll vote
differently next time.
- It’s really hard
for me to be nice to grandma when she acts like she’s in charge. I know
I’m grown and I don’t have to listen
to her, but I’m still doing my best to treat her well because she is my
mother.