We’re
Teaching This:
Can God hear me? Does God even exist? Did
Jesus actually rise from the dead, really?
And what about all the other stuff in the Bible? Did it really happen? How do
you know? When it comes to faith, we all have our doubts. Every single one of
us. And yet, for many of us, church can feel like the last place we would go to
ask questions. Why is that? For most of
us, doubt feels like something we should hide, ignore, or silence. If there’s a
volume dial, we should turn it down. But is that always true? Does having faith
mean I can’t have doubt or does having doubt cancel out the faith I do have?
When we look closer we find that amplifying our doubt, turning up the volume on
the right questions, may just be the best thing that ever happened to our
faith.
Think
About This:
Why do we have belly buttons? Why does the lawn mower make that
funny noise? Why do I have to take a bath? Every young kid goes through that
stage. The one where it seems there is a question about everything. At the time
it made us crazy, but if we’re honest, a lot of us wouldn’t mind going back to
those types of questions. At least those had easier answers.
As our kids grow into teens, the questions may be fewer but they
become way more complicated. It’s harder for us, but completely normal for
them—part of maturing is asking questions and pushing back on what has been
taught. Especially in the area of faith, this can be really healthy. But, tough
questions about faith can leave parents feeling a lot of pressure to have all
the answers right now.
Thankfully, in his article, “I Doubt it”, Reggie Joiner suggests
that maybe having all the answers isn’t the best approach. “Relax when your children ask
skeptical questions. … If you want your children to own their own faith,
then you have to let them face their own doubts.”
In other words, letting our
students face their doubt doesn’t mean we ignore their more challenging
questions, but instead we hear them, and refuse to panic when we do. This alone
can go a long way in teaching teens that having doubt is not necessarily a bad
thing. Sometimes just saying, “I don’t know” or “let’s find out together” can
be the best response to a tough question.
Reggie
goes on to remind parents that doubt is part of a long journey.
You may have a primary role in shaping your kid’s faith, but you
will never be able to control what they believe or don’t believe. If you could
simply talk your kids into believing what you believe, then chances are someone
else will talk them out of it one day. The spiritual growth of your children
will take a number of twists and turns during their life. Most of us tend to
forget the complicated spiritual journey that has shaped our faith. We expect
our kids to skip that somehow. (from http://www.orangeparents.org/i-doubt-it/)
Try
This
Most students don’t need a
parent who has all the answers, but they do need an example of how to live out
your faith even when you still have doubts. They need a model of healthy
curiosity—the kind that doesn’t give up just because tough questions arise.
Next time a question or a
doubt arises in your mind, try mentioning it to your student. It doesn’t have
to be very serious or formal. You can begin this way:
- “You know, I was just thinking. I wonder why God does this… ”
- “I’ve never been able to figure out …”
- “I wish I knew… ”
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